I am insanely tired and I am loving it. I’ve gotten roughly six hours of sleep per night for the past week. I am insanely tired because I am insanely busy. Doing Day and Age takes up the majority of my free time and the remainder has now been dominated by my film The Book of Job. The film itself has been completed for a while now, but some recent (and exciting) developments require the long hours and late nights I’ve been putting in. I’ll go more into this in a few months, but for now, some celebration: I missed my first Deconstructed post! The date on this post is listed as December 4 for consistency’s sake, but I am writing and publishing this two days late. It was bound to happen eventually, but I had a good run! I should be able to get back up to speed over the next few days and resume my regularly scheduled weekly deadline chase.
In some ways, this is how I work best. Under pressure, racing the clock, running on fumes. Certainly not ideal for strictly creative tasks and not sustainable for extended periods of time, but I enjoy pushing my stamina when the situation requires it. I’ve definitely had to do that on many a film set. I’ve always said that you can find out someone’s true character on a film set. When you’re halfway through a twelve hour day, going off of four hours of sleep, fueled by granola bars and fruit gummies, you can get an authentic glimpse into how people deal with incredible stress and overwhelming odds. Some people aren’t just cut out for production - which is fine! A lot of people have dreams of making films and breaking into Hollywood, and there are many ways you can go about doing that. But the particular demands on the production side - physically, mentally, creatively, emotionally, financially - is not for everyone.
Yes, I stuck my phone on the ceiling. Thank you gaff tape.
For me, the balancing act of all those elements gives me a dopamine rush. I don’t feel tired in the moment because I’m charged by the work laid before me. Everyone has their limits and burn out is a very real thing, but I think I can manage it pretty well. If I’m working on a project that I truly care about, I will get it done. Full stop. Let the laundry sit around. Let the dishes pile up. Let an inconsequential blog post for my side comic project go up two days late. Whatever it takes. Of course, I don’t enjoy breaking from my routine and neglecting my chores. As soon as I’m able, I immediately try and get back on track (I spent two hours yesterday just doing dishes). It’s all a balance. And I’m ready to get back to drawing.
Couple notes on Adventures in Online Dating IV. The series continues. Dating apps are absolutely a time waster at this point, perfect for breaking up the day in between long work sessions or while I’m sitting on the toilet. As I was inking, I realized that this comic is too verbose. The ceiling perspective is interesting, but the effect is weakened by the oppressive text balloons. Note to self: less words, more image. Obviously, the actual conversation I had with Lawrence was much longer and I had to condense only a few points into half a dozen panels. But I should’ve cut more. A lesson for next time!